You can say one thing about football in the Cage of Dreams – it’s not as dull as an England-Scotland match.

Tonight saw a tripartite round-robin at the Active Hastings session, although they did leave the evening very much to somebody else’s discretion.

The Lemons lined up with The Cat in goal, Marco van Gasman and West Ham Paul in defence, Motormouth and Mad Margaret in midfield and Chuckles upfront. They were pitted against Big H’s Wine Gums with White Cliff, Bobs both Dazzler and Granite, Rusty and The Assassin, and the Blueberries lined up with Chairman Phil, Magic Wond, Ricky DLTN, Toffee Joe, Legendary Rog and Oh My Cod!

Ten goals scored over ten matches meant most games were close-run affairs. In fact, the Lemons were the only team to score more than once in a game.

The Cat kept his team in it with several top-drawer saves and Big H did the same for the Blues with another exceptional display of strength and agility. His best effort was a double save from Mad Margaret to keep her deplorable non-scoring record intact.

Cliff won the Gums’ only game of the night with a great strike against the Blues and there were super goals from Paul Reardon, Mr Chuckles and Marco to win three games from their seven played.

Scouse Phil beat the Lemons with a cracking curler that was just an inch from the despairing full-length stretch by the Cat and OMC! scored a brace of beauties to win one and lose one against the two oppositions.

There were some deplorable gaffes in midfield which both led to goals against the Lemons, the best of which was a 20-yarder from Joe that kept way down low into the corner. A deplorable goal to give away. It was solo goal of the night, with the best team goal coming from Ali and the Blues which involved slick passing from end to end before the little chippy finished well.

Best defensive partnership of the night goes to Marco and Paul who linked so well together, feeding their midfield and keeping chances to a bare minimum. Only three goals were conceded all evening by them.

The Assassin had a quiet night but interchanged well with a tireless Russ. Not bad for a pair of 67-year-olds.

MoM: Marco van Gasman. Hardly put a foot wrong all night and recovered well when he did.