Skip to content

Report 22nd June 2022

Tonight’s training at Les Academias Decrepidos was overshadowed by a nasty injury to Hornets’ coach Massive Mark. We have had a few players limp off in the past but this is the first time one of our own has been carted off to A and E. The big lad stepped over the ball and snapped an ankle tendon as he pushed off in the other direction. Luckily Doc Dyer was on hand to take charge of the situation and MM was helped from the field. He’s a great lad, a super footballer and we all wish him well for a speedy recovery.

On the pitch 23 players rotated in three teams.

Pinks v Oranges was the first game and Team Tango was stunned by a first-minute goal by newbie Beaky who beat The Nutkin – who appeared in a multi-coloured outfit that gave Ru Paul a run for his money – with a straight drive down the middle. Both Jezza and The Cat made good diving saves to keep the score at one-nil.

Pinks stayed on and were brought down to earth with a bump by Massive Mark (who later came down to earth with a bump himself). He was left dangerously unmarked on the edge of the ‘D’ and curled a beauty past the advancing Cat. Ten-goal tournament Chris left his shooting boots in Maidstone and spurned two chances to equalise. But it was Beaky who impressed with a fab performance from midfield with a few lovely deft touches and shots on goal. He’s a real find by Old John Martin who met him at the wine club. One-nothing Blues.

Blues versus Orange was the only goal fest of the night.Oh My Cod slotted an early penalty to give the Blues the advantage after visiting Marmite HR Hassan wandered aimlessly into the box to concede the kick. But the Tango boys fought back, marshalled from the back by Iron Russ.

he Riddler beat Tug at the near post with a rifled shot and shortly before the end, Legendary Rog chased a ball that looked certain to go out, pulled it back on the angle where Hollywood Nick failed to deal with it allowing Ricky DLTN to pounce and get the winner. 2-1 the O’s.

Oh My Cod struck again with a fierce turn and shot to give the Pinks a one-nothing win over The Oranges. And the Cat secured the victory with a great one-armed punch away to his right.
But his night was to end in disaster when Hassan Hassan scored against him with the jammiest of all jammy toe pokes that flew off his fat big toe into the opposite side of the goal where he was aiming. The tubby keeper sank to his knees and proclaimed ‘Anyone but him!’ to the Heavens as the marmite Bexhill klingon turned, celebrated as if a) he meant it and b) he had just won the Champions League. He later punched Beaky in the face throwing out an arm to steady himself for another wayward shot. No blood was drawn and the new fellah was able to continue.

A good session in the sun, well attended, lovely football played. Posh Andy did well and Speedy Steve was prowling and almost back to his best. Ali has learned to pass and continues to impress and Johnny Masters is another strong addition to our line-up. We have such strength in depth now it is a pleasure to watch.

Man of the MATCH: Beaky. He’s already signed and making a good impression.