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Match report 14 Mar 2022


It was the night of the goalkeepers at Stade Geriatrica tonight.

Six games and only 10 goals scored. Superdunc was the only striker guaranteed any goals – all the other big guns were thwarted by The Cat and Keeper Kev. Kev had an outstanding night between the sticks and made 12 good saves to keep his teams in the hunt. At the other end, The Cat made six outstanding full-length saves, he too playing for two teams.

The night got off to a false start due to latecomers. Despite have four “proper” defenders in front of him, the first 10 minutes were frantic with two amazing saves, a full throttle net buster from Dunc and a jammy before-the-whistle free kick goal by The Chairman, but once the three teams were sorted the evening quickly settled to good all round football.

Game one saw a 2-1 victory for the Lemons thanks to goals from Matty – who was on good form – and Blakey who spent much of the evening at the back. Duncan got the Blues’ consolation goal with a five-yard thunderbolt which dumped the Cat on his ample behind.

Game Two saw Kev save the day for the Pinks with no fewer than six stops ( including a TRIPLE save from two players) to frustrate the Lemon strikers. Again it was defender Blakey who broke the deadlock with a cool finish to give them their one-nil win. There was the first sight of Tottenham Paul who made an impact on his debut, worked hard, had two decent shots and deserved a goal for his efforts.

Game three had Keeper Kev again in action, this time making four good saves to keep his team in the hunt. The Riddler scored the best goal of the night here to give the Blues their 1-0 win. Where Duncan was fired up and relying on brute force, Ian had the surgeon’s knife skill to beat the Cat at his near post.

Game four saw another hard fought one-nil victory for the Blues over Lemons. Dunc again was the scorer – he was having a ball. The Chairman was in goal – a rare occurrence – and made three good saves with his feet to keep the Blues on track.

Biggest win of the evening came in game five. It was a two-nothing victory for the Lemons with El Jay putting Matty in for a well-taken goal and then a quick, long roll out from The Cat – just missed by a flailing defensive leg from ZZ Nick – went straight to Jay who made no mistake with his shot past Keeper Kev who again made four great saves to keep the score down.

The last game of the night was a mix and match up of players which saw a 1-1 draw. Dunc scored from an absolutely impossible angle at one end and El Jay got the equaliser with a Riddler assist. Trigger was unlucky not to score in this one but The Cat saved both his shots full stretch to the right and left respectively.

Moment of the night came from Granite Bob beating Dunc who would have been through on goal but for the old fellah’s tackle. He had a fine night and made two other important interceptions.

Good to see the return of Marco van Gasman and International Touchline Mike. Newbie Paul went away beaming from ear to ear. He really enjoyed himself and it was a well-mannered night overseen by Massive Mark with the whistle.

MoM: Keeper Kev. No knee pads, no elbow protectors, no gloves, stopping everything they threw at him looking like an octopus falling out of a tree. He probably doesn’t want to be a goalie but he needs to join the Union – definitely. And he will be aching in the morning.