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Report 7th September 2022



Strikers often go through a bad patch. A loss of form can last weeks, even months and lead to discussions on the back pages. Millions can be wiped off the re-sale value and you can lose your place in the international set up. So when Deadeye Chris failed to score in his first two matches, there was shock and awe at the Academias Decrepidos. His rough patch lasted a full 30 minutes before a change of ball – and the rediscovery of his shooting boots -saw him hit four in his last two games.

It was a night of super football with three evenly-matched teams battling it out for top honours. Match 1 saw a gritty nil-all draw between the Oranges and the Blues. It was notable for El Jay getting a rocket on his backside in the first 30 seconds, Ricky DLTN foiling the Riddler with a stop using his buttocks and White Cliffs marking a welcome return after three months out with an injury making an arse out of his only shot of the night. New player Dave showed a bit of promise and is looking for a nickname.

Match 2 was a thriller between Pinks and Blues. Rick – who loves to play out – scored first for the P’s and celebrated with his usual flamboyant aeroplane routine, El Jay made it two- nil with a thumper that gave the Nutkin no chance but the goal of the game came from the cultured right boot of Coach Russ who curled a beauty past The Cat for a late consolation.

Match 3 was a nil-all affair between Pinks and Orange thanks to the Cat, in imperious form, making four top saves, his best from a thrice-taken free kick which Ref Posh kept allowing the O’s to re-take.

Match 4 was a four-goal thumping for the Blues when Chrissy finally got his act together. He scored twice and Wingnut got a brace as well. But the Nutkin had the last laugh with a brilliant reaction save to his right to prevent Deadeye’s hat-trick.

Match 5 saw the goal of the night from the Chairman. The Scouser took the ball, back to goal, 12 yards out and lashed it into the bottom left corner. The Cat got nowhere near it. However, Deadeye popped up with two goals to win the match 2-1. Lots of good skills on show: Puffing Paul is Mr Consistency, Peruvian Mick and Wingnut had a great night, Posh continues to improve week on week and the Legend who is Rog showed a couple of sublime touches.

Man of the match: Deadeye Chris for going from couldn’t hit a barn door to unstoppable accuracy inside half an hour and hitting four..