Skip to content

Report 10th September 2022



Just what HUWFC needs – another brilliant keeper. The goalkeepers’ union’s ranks at the club – Ricky, The Cat, Nutkin and Tug – was recently swelled by the arrival of Peter who impressed on his debut. But today Big Colin arrived, a huge Arsenal fan, and the gooner goalie was simply amazing.
After a thoughtful minute’s silence the crowd of one at Las Academias Decrepido was treated to a right royal performance from the three front-line keepers on show and the stand-ins too. In nine games only five goals were scored as the keepers excelled.

Match 1
was a nil-all draw between Blues and Pinks which saw the Nutkin make four top-drawer saves to keep his side in it. Newbies Jimbo and Deano both impressed and both had great shots pushed aside.


For Match 2 on the other pitch, Legendary Rog and Blakey scored in a tough one-all draw between Oranges and Lemons.


Big Colin played in defence for his first game but went between the sticks for the Blues in Match 3. Team Tango was all over them like a rash and Colin flung himself about like a faulty Polaris missile. He saved twice down to his left from well-taken Blakey shots and then made four outstanding saves from El Jay – his best one-on-one after a gritty tackle from Granite Bob put the Spanish bun boy through on goal. It finished nil-all.


On the other pitch Lemons and Blues fought out a nil-all draw in Match 4 with Ricky DLTN in brilliant form making four great saves.


Pinks v Orange in Match 5 finished o-o and in Match 6 it was one-nil Lemons thanks to a Deadeye Chris goal. But it doesn’t tell the full story. Colin made three super saves from Chris and then saved a penalty with his legs after Up Start up-ended the ever-busy Beaky in a goal scoring position. Up almost got the goal of the afternoon with his not-inconsiderable right buttock, deflecting a powerful Puffing Paul drive goalwards. Posh Andy then made a great one-handed save too to keep the Blues out.


Ricky excelled in goal again in Match 7 where it was nil-all Pinks v Orange and El Jay finally got his goal with a typical curler to beat the Republican Yellows one-nil.


In the last game, Match 8, debutant Pistol Pete finally beat Ricky with a low drive to his right. It finished one-nil to the Blues and Rick kept the score down with another couple of fabulous saves, the best to his left from Welsh International Touchline Mike.


MoM: Big Colin on his debut. What a fabulous addition to the Hastings squad he will be – brought along by his next door neighbour Jimbo who was recruited by the evangelical trestle table team in the town centre. Honourable mentions for Ricky and The Nutkin who also played out of their skins.