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Report 27th August 2022



With many of the front side big beasts missing from training today it was a chance for others to shine. Only Ricky and Iron Russ from the first team had an outing – and both played excellently – but it meant a more meaningful session for the rest.

And they didn’t just rise to the occasion they soared.

Legendary Rog hasn’t had so much ball for months and he made the most of it; Ken the Bass was rejuvenated and scored two great goals; Posh Andy ran his side like a pro and Holy Paul was all over the park, popping up in defence and attack. It was wonderful to watch and the squirrels enjoyed every minute.

But if a a salutary lesson in how dangerous our walking game can be was needed, it came in the diminutive size of Peter the goalie who played out of his skin last week and took so much skin off his knees he could only spectate this week.

Match one saw Pinks beat the Blues one-nothing with a superbly taken goal by the coach. Russ used the not inconsiderable bulk of Puffing Paul to curl one past The Cat in the opening minute. The keeper – out all month due to Tudor commitments – then made four great stops to keep his team in it but Ricky at the other end wasn’t troubled by shots from PP, Posh and Holy Paul who were all off target.

The Pinks maintained their unbeaten streak in Match 2 with a one-all draw with Team Tango. After Rick made a a string of excellent stops – his best from Wingnut piledriver – he pulled off a superb double save and looked unbeatable. Chairs beat the Cat with a thumper at the second attempt after a defensive howler from Rog. But Rick reckoned without Deadeye Chris who scored with the very last kick of the game to square things up.

The Oranges then beat Blues by a single goal in Match Three. It was a marvellous edge-of-the-box effort from Ken, who deftly chipped the advancing Cat with the most delicate of touches. Chairs upended Posh in a tackle that looked bad from a distance but was actually only a stand on the ball. The Cat made a great save from Russ, clinging to a curler to his right so denying the Coach another goal. He ran the whole session like a Japanese overlord and was at his imperious best up front and at the back.

The Pinks got back to winning ways in Game 4 with another one-nil win over Blues. The Cat again had a good game with two super point-blank stops from Deadeye and Ricky, who had been replaced in goal by Wingnut – himself no slouch between the sticks, but could do nothing to stop Deadeye’s shot into his far corner. It was a beautiful goal, made to look simple by the talented goal-hanger.

All in for the last match which was O’s v Pinks – and the Pinkos were finally beaten. Chairs netted his second of the afternoon to give Team Tango the lead and it was doubled by Ken The Bass, powering home a slick pass from Holy Paul. Wingnut was beaten twice but made three great saves to save the humiliation. Not even Russ could break the Pink duck, with the Cat saving twice with his legs from the Coach. Moment of the afternoon? Posh nutmegging Russ wide on the left.

There was some hard but fair defensive action from False Start, ZZ Nick and Touchline which kept the chances down to a minimum. Mark – allowed out to play by his missus – made a solid debut and showed great promise and Ricky’s string of saves almost won him the MoM accolade. But top honours went to K t B: scoring twice, putting in a proper shift and being a Spurs fan.